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Post by caleb hunter mcmillian on Jan 12, 2012 15:24:20 GMT -5
  caleb had, not to long ago, decided that god hated him. maybe because he was taking the woman he loved away from him. in two ways. one because she didn't love him back and she was dying. both were horrible things and he didn't realize what he did or hell what detta did to deserve this. but now? yeah she was still dying but at least they could love each other for that little bit of time. it was slightly better and soon cale can figure out a way to not hate god again but she was still dying. god was still letting her die and it still hurt. but at least she loved him and he loved her. she could die feeling love. that seemed like a good idea. at least she wouldn't be alone and she wouldn't have to die alone. he'd be there with her. by her side. always and forever. or for as long as he had left anyway.
he was happy though, because he was loved by detta. hell he was ecstatic. he could dance right now!!! he could sing and kiss her and jump up and down with joy. he was so happy. he was soo happy. it was a better feeling then the sadness that had taken over him the last few days. it was a feeling that made him right her a new song and to sing her every other song he ever wrote for her. to just hold her and be happy and love her with all his heart.
mad. there was that word again and it wasn't one in caleb hunter mcmillian's vocabulary. he was never really mad ever, he'd get frustrated sometimes when his songs weren't going as plan but that hardly ever happened. as for actually mad and angry? that wasn't something he really did. he was too laid back and usually let things go to really get mad. but even if he wasn't as laid back as he was, he could never be mad at vendetta. ever. no matter if she lied to him or not, he couldn't muster enough anger and upset feelings to block out all the happy one's flooding through his body. he was so happy and relieved that it was all he could think about. smiling at her he bent down and kissed her softly on the lips, "i can't be mad at you detta. i love you too much and i'm too happy."
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify][/center] words: 411
tagged: ruby with vendetta
notes:<333 |
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Post by vendetta raelynn williams on Jan 12, 2012 19:09:10 GMT -5
she had finally said it. after all the time, she had admitted to herself and caleb that she was truly in love with her bestest friend in the whole wide world, and it was the most amazing feeling in the world. her heart was filled with so much happiness that she was sure it would explode. after all this time, she had finally said it. after having people tell her and caleb time and time again that they were meant to be together, she finally admitted it. at first, she had to deny her feelings for him because she hadn't thought it was possible for caleb to feel this way for her. they were just best friends. always has been and always will be. that's the way it was. it had annoyed her greatly every time hannah or faith or sammy told her that she was in love with caleb or that caleb was in love with her. because it just wasn't possible that he could like her that way.
but then he had finally admitted it after having found out she had cancer. it was all up to her in the end to tell him how she felt. she had wanted to prove everyone wrong. to tell them she didn't like him that way and he couldn't like her that way. except her heart knew better. it knew the truth better than anyone else in riverside. and even though that she was proving everyone right, it didn't matter because she was in love with her soulmate and he was in love with her. nothing else really mattered all that much. her eyes widened a little as he kissed her lips in surprise for a second before her eyes fluttered closed and returning the kiss. her cheeks turned a bright crimson red, a shy grin on her face. this was the first kiss they shared together. at first, she had thought it would feel wrong because he was her best friend, but it couldn't have possibly felt more right. "good. i don't like it when you're mad at me. happy's good!" she said, beaming at her last sentence with a bright smile.
tagged: caleb
notes: blah. i'm sorry. this post sucked ass.
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Post by caleb hunter mcmillian on Jan 13, 2012 14:33:34 GMT -5
they had just shared there first kiss and it was great. his heart beat fast as she kissed him and all he wanted to do was keep kissing her. he needed it, he felt more alive and it was like he needed that. just like he needed food and water and air. it was great and magnificent because it was detta who he kissed. hell it was his first actual kiss. yeah he had some pecks here and there in middle school but it wasn't the same as this thing he had with detta. it was great and amazing.
when she said that happy was good, she was right. happy was really good and the both of them were as happy as happy could be. this was probably one of the happiest days of calebs life if not THE happiest. well the happiest would be the day he met vendetta but this would be close enough. this was when he found out that the girl he met on the happiest day of his life was in love with him. not many days could beat this one, actually very few could. maybe the day he had kids, if it ever happened but maybe not. he was too in love with vendetta at the moment to think about loving anyone else when she was gone. of marrying anyone but her and having kids. he was too happy and too in love to even contemplate the idea. when she said that she didn't want him to be mad and that happy was good, well he kissed her cheek. "your never going to have to see that so don't worry," he said with a smile.
the only problem with this was that caleb knew that vendetta loved him and he loved vendetta. but what were they? what did detta want? he wanted her to be his girlfriend, to spoil her as much as he could. take her out to dinners, kiss her goodnight. he wanted to hold her and watch movies and hold her and sing. and sing and hold her. and just hold her. he wanted so much but he wasn't sure if detta wanted that too. could she? she loved him but would she be his girlfriend? there was only one way to find out and he gave a soft sigh. "vendetta raelynn williams, would you be my girlfriend?" yeah he asked those words and now he held his breath for an answer. he watched her and waited patiently for her to say if she wanted to be with him like that or not. his heart beat nervously, and he didn't know why. of course she would? right? she loved him so why not? but there was still that fear that she will just say no.
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify][/center] words: 464
tagged: ruby with vendetta
notes:your posts do not suck ruby<3 |
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Post by vendetta raelynn williams on Jan 14, 2012 20:50:03 GMT -5
vendetta was beyond happy to be able to express her love. for the longest time she had thought caleb would hate her because she was dying. she had thought that he'd call her an attention whore. she was so afraid that he'd leave her behind because he didn't want to be around someone that wouldn't be here for very long. that's what she expected out of everyone. it was why she didn't want to tell anyone. at a school like this, names were often called, and it would only be a matter of time before people called her someone that wanted attention. she didn't want the attention. in fact, it's the last thing she wanted. but it wouldn't be helped. they would judge her like they do with everyone else. they would leave her, one by one, and leave her to die alone on the hospital bed, but she should have known better.
this was caleb she was talking about. the one who always put a smile on her face when she was feeling down. he was the one who kept her company every time she felt lonely. he was the one she shared her whole life with. he was everything she needed. he was her bestest friend in the whole wide world and she should have known better than to turn away from him the way she did before. she should have known that caleb would never leave her behind. he was always the one who looked back to make sure she was still there and hadn't fallen behind. she never should have doubted him or anyone. but that's what cancer did to you. it made you paranoid and afraid. so afraid of everything. and worst of all, it made you afraid of time. like any second would be your last. and now that caleb knew how she felt, at least she could spend her last second knowing he loved her. knowing she made him happy.
and that was all she wanted. the things on her bucket list didn't matter. sure, there were a lot of things she would have loved to do. there were a billion of things she wanted to try and accomplish, but if she were to spend her dying seconds here in riverside, she wanted everyone she loved to be by her side. it didn't matter if she didn't get to do those things as long as she got to spend the rest of whatever life she had with them as much as she can. she looked up at caleb longingly, barely able to contain her happiness, "okay, i won't worry about that." she agreed with a giggle, finally able to do it without feeling a bit of sadness. since learning the news that she had cancer, detta had barely been able to let out a genuine smile or giggle. it felt forced somehow. but right now, right here, she was truly and completely content. she gave him a confused look as he said her full name, wondering what was on his mind. she chewed on her lower lip as he asked the question for a good few seconds before breaking out into a smile, laughing, "yes, of course!"
tagged: caleb
notes: hehe thanks <3
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Post by caleb hunter mcmillian on Jan 15, 2012 14:03:00 GMT -5
leaving would never be an option for caleb because it would hurt vendetta too much and he'd never put her through such pain. he refused to be the cause of her sad faces and pained expressions. it would be horrible if he hurt detta because you weren't to hurt the one's you love. he was taught way better than that by his mother. he was taught how to respect and care for people, not to leave when the going got tough. he'd never do such a thing to anyone, especially not vendetta. all his friends, the few he had, are held close to his heart because he honestly cares for them like siblings and family. he wouldn't toss them to the side or leave them behind. it just wasn't who caleb was, and he would never become that type of guy.
mostly because his goal in life was to make vendetta happy. well not exactly but he enjoyed watching her smile and he would never walk away from such a beautiful person because she needed him. she needed people who loved her around and he just could never judge her and push her away over something like cancer. that wasn't her fault she had it, she couldn't control it and it wasn't that bad. yes she was dying, yes he'd loose her but she wasn't lying or doing something horrid. she was just sick and he would hold her and make sure she took her medicine and feel better. he would try his hardest to keep her mind of the pain because he didn't want her to be painful, it was a sad thing really. but he'd be there for her, and do whatever she needed him to do.
caleb just smiled down at her and looked into her eyes. she was so beautiful and everything he could wish for and she would be his forever. or well for as long as god would allow it. he would at least have time to cherish and love her. though he kind of frowned as she took a little longer to answer his question, for some reason he thought that it would be a quick answer. then the words left her mouth, he sighed and smiled. he was relieved, he didn't know what he expected but this was great. this was the best thing. "oh thank god," he said with a smile before kissing her softly again. he was so happy. she would be his girlfriend and he would be her boyfriend. what more was there to ask for?
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify][/center] words: 427
tagged: ruby with vendetta
notes:this kind of sucks though<.< |
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Post by vendetta raelynn williams on Jan 15, 2012 16:22:22 GMT -5
this christmas break had been the worst for vendetta. from the gossip person whom announced her secret to her brother saying terrible things to her, to her breaking caleb's heart. this christmas was supposed to be amazing for vendetta. this was one of the few that she actually got to cherish, and she ended up wallowing alone in her dorm room throughout the break. she had tried so hard to make this christmas perfect, to make everyone happy. she wanted to spend the last few of her holidays with those she loved. she wanted to remember her holidays that was filled with laughter and love and joy. it was supposed to be memorable and perfect. and memorable it was. it just wasn't the kind that she had expected. she was definitely not going to forget this christmas because this was absolutely the worst christmas ever, and there was only her to blame. she was the one who hadn't told. she was the one who had done the heartbreaking. she was the one who kept the secret from everyone.
of those many days that was spent in her dorm room, vendetta had considered dropping out of school. this was the worst she's ever felt. she had never felt so sad and so hurt. not even her mother leaving her was a good comparison. she had thought it would be better for everyone this way. she'd leave and travel the world. see whatever she could, try everything that she wanted to try, do everything that she was never able to do here in boston. she would learn new cultures, new languages, new traditions. she would forget everyone her and let them move on. they would forget her. she wouldn't be around to be a burden anymore. she wouldn't see their sad faces, wouldn't have to hear their goodbyes. she wouldn't have to see their pitied looks or have them call her names. they would only remember her while she was still healthy. while she still looked like detta and not some bald headed girl that was dying.
but she wasn't that kind of person. she was selfish. she was a coward. she wasn't the kind of person that ran away from her problems. she wasn't that kind of person because that's what her mother did. her mom ran away from her dad. from her. she had just up and left with just a packet of divorce papers on the table. detta didn't run when things got tough because she had been on the receiving end of that. it was an awful feeling to know that you've been abandoned. to not be wanted. and she did not want to inflict that kind of pain on anyone. she wasn't that kind of person. she was the kind of person that isolated herself and secretly hope that it wouldn't come to final goodbyes. but she knew that she could count on one person who would love her to the very end and never leave her side. she giggled at the way he sounded so relieved after she gave him her answer, kissing him back. "silly monkey, you have nothing to worry about. i'm all yours!" she reassured him with a grin. "but..." she trailed off, biting down on her lower lip for a second. "w-would it...... would it be ummm okay if we umm.... uh....... kept it a secret for ummm just for a little bit?"
tagged: caleb
notes: noooooo your posts don't suck either <3
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Post by caleb hunter mcmillian on Jan 16, 2012 11:09:29 GMT -5
this wasn't the greatest christmas for caleb either, if anything it was a horrible christmas. he thought it would be great, getting his mom to stay in boston so he can spend it with detta and go with her and tyler to sing to children in the hospital. so much had happened, he found out horrible news about the woman he loved to a girl he wanted to now kill. and caleb didn't kill, he didn't stir up trouble, so instead he just didn't send the really cruel message he wanted to. he just closed his computer and contemplated his next move. then he did what he was afraid to do for so long and his worst fear came true. she told him no. she said she didn't love him. it hurt so much, that he stayed in his room and did nothing. he didn't touch anything. it was a horrible feeling.
that feeling would have been way worse if she had uped and leaved right after breaking his heart. it would have just put the icing on the cake and he would realize that she didn't care for him. not even as a best friend. he would feel so bad because he spent years being her best friend, or thinking that. how could she leave? not tell him. just disappear. he'd go looking for her though, he would have dropped out of school, dropped everything and went to find his best friend. talk her out of doing something like this. people loved her and this just hurt them so much to see her go like that. but he had nothing to worry about anymore. she was his now. she said so. they were boyfriend and girlfriend. there wasn't anything more to even ask.
"i'm glad i don't have to worry," he said with a smile. he wouldn't worry anymore, caleb wouldn't need to worry or be afraid. he would have the chance to love and hold and cherish her because she would be his detta. it was an amazing feeling but then came an unexpected but. he kind of frowned, "but?" he watched her stutter past her question and he sighed in relief. he thought it would be some crazy but that ended in him leaving this hospital a single man. well he still would, to other people he would be single. he'd do anything for detta, as long as she was his but he was still curious on why she wanted to keep it a secret. "of course..but why?"
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify][/center] words: 422
tagged: ruby with vendetta
notes:pshh dont lie :p |
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Post by vendetta raelynn williams on Jan 25, 2012 14:10:40 GMT -5
vendetta: n. any prolonged feud or quarrel. when you hear the word vendetta, a person's name is not the first thing that pops into your mind. in fact, the first thing you'd thinking about is a vengeance between two people or a battle or a fight or whatever, but never, would you think that someone would name their child vendetta. because why would someone want to name their child vendetta? that's just mean, cruel, and taunting. for the longest time, detta was okay with her name. sure, she used to get teased at school once everybody was old enough to realize what it actually meant. but she was okay with it because her life was pretty great. she had her mom and her dad, and that was all she really needed. but as she grew older, the turmoil just continuously rolled on into her life. what with her mother leaving, her dad remarrying, her step sister hating her, and getting cancer.
sometimes she thought clarissa did it on purpose. if the naming had been up to her dad, she'd be raelynn joanna williams. except he thought he was in love with her mom and let her name their daughter vendetta. sometimes detta thought clarissa knew. like somehow, deep down, she named her vendetta for a reason. maybe it was out of spite. maybe it was even for a good laugh. or she was mocking her. whatever it was, clarissa probably knew that detta would have a long battle in her life. and for that, she wanted to hate her mother for it. for cursing her. for putting her through this. maybe if she didn't name her vendetta then she would have never left. maybe she wouldn't have to see her father heartbroken. maybe she wouldn't even have cancer if her mother just haven't given her the name vendetta. but at the same time, if it wasn't for her mother, she would have never moved to boston. she would have never met kelsey and sammy. and she would have never found her soul mate, caleb.
maybe it was better this way. her mom leaving her when she was such a young girl. if she hadn't let, she would have been stuck in vancouver, and she would not be surrounded by the most amazing people in her life. she looked at caleb adoringly with a grin. he was just so amazing to her. so forgiving. if her mom hadn't left, she would have never been able to fall in love with her best friend the way she did now. so perhaps she had to thank her mom for cursing her with a name like vendetta. she pursed her lips a little, frowning when he asked her why. she didn't really know how to answer him. mainly because she didn't want to keep it a secret. now that they were finally together, and caleb had admitted to being in love with her, there was nothing detta wanted to do but scream to the world that she was in love. "well... umm.... it's just that..... i don't really ummmm want people to know yet...."
tagged: caleb
notes: i don't lie (: and yay!!! finally posted ^^
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Post by caleb hunter mcmillian on Jan 27, 2012 10:34:48 GMT -5
caleb loved her name, it was unique much like her and the meaning of the word vendetta didn't matter. to him the word meant, 'the most beautfil girl in the world with golden blonde hair and lips that taste so sweet like candy. her smile lights up a room and she's the girl you want to hold on to and marry. she's sweet and caring but she knows whent o stand up for other's and herself. you'll fall in love with her and she'll be your muse for the rest of your lives.' that was what vendett ameant to caleb. it was a unique name for a unique girl and he had to admit it was better than his own. his own name was bland and normal and having looked up his name a couple times he has found it means, dog and heart. he could live with heart but as for dog, not so much. he kind of felt like his bland name made him turn out to be the boring guy who had a big heart but didn't get out enough to let people in. he had detta though, and his heart could live with just her love.
names were just names though and they didn't describe you, you described yourself. caleb knew that and that was why he didn't dwell so much on his bland dog name. he just lived life the way he felt like living it. in love with his best friend and music. he had a good life and he knew that, and he didn't need it to be any better. of course it could be just slightly better, if detta didn't have cancer but he couldn't change that and he didn't wish too. things happened for a reason, what reasons he didn't know but there was always reasons behind them. he just had to trust and go with the flow and make the years he had with her last. that was the important thing, to love her while she's here and cherish her while she's not. he would forever love her but he wouldn't dwell on her death because he knew that wouldn't be what she wanted. he would cry for a little while, bury her, pray that she's safe in heaven and live his life like he did before. think of the happy memories and smile and hope everything will be okay. that was caleb's plan but he didn't need to worry about that yet, because his detta was still with him and he was happy right now in this moment.
he would never wish anyone hurt or harm, but secretly he was happy detta's mom wasn't in her life. she didn't sound like the nicest, especially when he learned more in the future. plus if she didn't, would he even be having this happy talk with her? he had a feeling he wouldn't have, because everything happens for a reason. she lost her mom, but she found love and friends and she gained even more people who loved her dearly. she lost one important person, but she gained 5 more. there was caleb, anthonly, kelsey, tyler and hannah. all of which loved the beautiful blonde sweet and caring vendetta raelynn williams.
listening to her reasoning he nodded, he would do anything for her, even if it meant keeping their relationship on the hush now. though his small insecurities kept telling him she didn't want people to know about him but he shook it off. why? because it didn't exactly make sense at all. everyone knew they were the best of friends, so embarrassment was definitely not something that was the cause of this. it was something else, but he wasn't going to push it just yet. "okay detta, we can do whatever you want." he took her hand and smiled, her happiness was all that mattered to him. he had her, that was the important thing, not that people had to know about them. just that the two of them were together and happy, and they would be for awhile. until the pain of not saying anything and lying to his mother drives caleb to be a little sad and upset with detta. but right now they were just in love and happy.
"i love you," he said, letting the words fall out of his mouth with a smile. he was glad he could finally say them and now he didn't want to stop saying them. he just wanted to scream how much he loved the girl, with the most beautiful girl in the world. life couldn't be better, he was a lucky boy! she was so beautiful and he was just so blah. he was just happy that she could love him as much as he loved her. "i'm such a lucky man," he said before kissing her softly once again. "i can do that now and tell you that my songs really do mean something, instead of hiding my feelings." he sighed, it was like a big relief, finally let it all out. he just wanted to dance, and he usually needed a bit of persuading to that. "it feels good to be in love," he said before sitting on the edge of the hospital bed. "don't you agree?"
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tagged: ruby with vendetta
notes:holy shit my cale muse was going berserk today xD
totally cales new song |
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Post by vendetta raelynn williams on Jan 30, 2012 2:31:07 GMT -5
caleb was a sweetheart. he always loved everything about her. every time she said she didn't like something about herself, he would argue with her that it was amazing or great and that he loved it. not that she didn't mind hearing it. it felt good to have the love of her life tell her that she was amazing. he always made her feel so much more that she actually was. in a way, he kind of glorified her. and while most of the time she didn't believe him or anyone else, it still made her feel a little better about herself. she liked hearing it from him. now that they both admitted to their feelings, she actually saw what he saw in her in his eyes. she knew that he was speaking the truth. she always thought people were just saying it. you know... because it was a nice thing to say. you're not going to agree with someone that they're ugly. no, you disagree and tell them their beautiful.
and in caleb's case, he was speaking the truth. he was so amazing to her. and without him, she wasn't sure what she'd do. he was the rock that never let her fall, and for that, she was eternally grateful. he always reminded her that she had a great life, and she did, she agreed. even though she didn't have a mother, she had a family that loved her like crazy. with the exception of autumn of course. she now, officially, had a boyfriend whom was her best friend and loved her like no tomorrow. she got to do what she loved, and spend time with whomever she wanted. and that was all she needed to live the rest of her life. she didn't need to travel or get life experiences. as long as she surrounded herself around those she loved, then nothing else really mattered. because that was all she wanted to do. she wanted to spend every minute of every single day with her family. with caleb.
but now that she had caleb, she wished she didn't have cancer. her life was slowly falling apart, and the only constant person in her life was caleb. of course, she still had dancing, but even that wasn't enough to cheer her own. she didn't want to lose caleb. she wanted a longer life so she could do everything she wanted with him. she wanted to marry him some day if she was lucky. she wanted her own family. she wanted to be a ballerina or a doctor. but she was a little short on time. they've only just started their relationship and there was no way that they would get married and have a family before her cancer cells took over her entire life. she smiled, squeezing his hand that held her's, "thanks cale. you're the best, you know that?" she didn't know what did to deserve such an amazing friend, but whatever it was, she was glad.
her grin widened at the three words he spoke to her. her heart tugged and the butterflies in her stomach fluttered with happiness. "i love you too cale. so so much." she said, truly meaning it. it felt so good to say it. like a huge weight was finally lifted off her shoulders. she giggled, kissing her back, shaking hear head a little, "actually, i think i'm the lucky one." caleb was the best thing that could have ever happened to her and anybody could easily see that. she laughed, shaking her head at his goofiness. "honestly, it's still a little weird to know that the songs are about me. i always thought it was about someone else." she admitted, a blush forming on her cheeks. she giggled, nodding her head, "i agree. it feels wonderful to be in love." she shuffled a little, sitting up, wincing in pain from the sharp shooting pain on her left side.
tagged: caleb
notes: i love that song <3
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