Over Everything--Hannah

[sonice]

THE TRUTH COMES OUT IN THE BREAKDOWNS
( • M E M O R I E S M Y G O D T H E S E M E M O R I E S • )

The day was finally over, which to most 15 year old kids meant, above all else freedom. Freedom from the "oppressive" reach of school, teachers and administration. One could do as they so chose without the gear of getting into any trouble with their teachers or whoever. However for Matthew Bailey, school being over meant nothing extreme like freedom. No you see he went to a boarding school, which meant that even after class he had to abide by school rules and deal with adults who were not his parents telling him what he could and could not do. Generally he would also have football or baseball practice, but tonight he was lucky. The football coach had told him he did not have to attend any of the training stuff today to recover from a bummed out ankle he had suffered a week earlier. It hurt when he walked, but he was sure he could suffer through it. That said who was he to complain about a night off?

Despite being able to chose to do whatever he wanted to do, Matt decided to stay behind after school and do some left over homework in the cafeteria. It was quiet after school hours and it was a place where he could put his headphones in and just actually focus on the work, something he would never do in his room. He'd have his xbox, laptop and everything else to distract him. He placed his cell phone down on the table in front of him and put his ipod on and his ear-buds in and began trying his best to answer the grade 9 algebra in front of him.

The athletic boy knew math wasn't too hard, at least not yet. However he never had any desire to do it or to really listen in class, it was just a chore to him. IT also annoyed him so he was pretty far behind in his work in that particular class. The freshman sighed as he started strugilling with a few of the harder questions. If he had his way he would never have to take an algebra class because to him he never saw why he'd ever need to use this sort of stuff in real life, but apparently it would help him someday, some way. The 15 year old put his head down in his hands, unable to come up with anything and he figured it'd be better to at least show his frustration somehow, even if no one else was really around.

THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING OH THOSE MEMORIES
( • A S Y O U S P O K E Y O U R F O R K E D T O N G U E S H O W E D • )

W O R D S • i honestly dunno
T A G G E D • for hannah/gabby
O U T F I T • click!
L Y R I C S • memories by lion if ido
T E M P L A T E • PANIC! ITS LAUZ of CAUTION
N O T E S • these are notes. aren't they pretty?

[hannah lynn zepherson]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; background-image: url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/oceanbreezebg.png); padding-bottom: 20px;] words // 526 // outfit // clicky // tagged // matthew and zach boy with a coin, T H E N M A K I N G A W I S H , A N D T O S S E D I N T H E S E A today was the first day that hannah lynn had been in school since her mom died. she knew she could probably get in trouble but she hoped that they would understand. who wouldn't want a few days to themselves after hearing news like that? she needed to just lay in bed and be by herself or with anthony when he got back from school and work. she couldn't make anymore tears and she was just numb to everything around her. walking through school, she just stared ahead of herself, not smiling or saying hi. she heard the sorry's and the 'how are you holding ups' but she didn't answer. she was sick of sorry's and sick of that damn question. she just wanted people to leave her alone. the girl couldn't even concentrate in class, she was stuck thinking about how she was making things worse for anthony. he was drinking and it was her fault and she hated it. she wanted to make it up to him but she had no clue on how. finally school was over and she moved like a snail across the school grounds trying to find out what she wanted to do. she didn't want to go back to her room because that mean she had to deal with belle and vendetta and anthony. she was burdening them all and she knew it. she didn't want to have them see her cry anymore because she knew it hurt them. she had to get over the depressed feelings and take deep breaths. or at least pretend to be happy until they aren't around. she'd just have to cry to herself, all alone and smile around her friends. that seemed like a good idea. especially because maybe she'd stop hurting anthony if she just smiled and seemed like she was doing okay. all she wanted though was to cry in her room with anthony. she couldn't help want that, he was just her rock. he was the person who always made her laugh and smile through everything and she was hoping it would happen again in this situation but it didn't. so she'd stop burdening him for herself. she was too sad right now to go back to her room, she needed to work on the pretending. somehow her legs brought her to the cafeteria, probably because she needed to eat some real food. the girl hadn't had a good meal in what felt like forever but it wasn't even a time where they were serving food. so she kind of sat and digged through her purse finding a zip lock bag that held some carrots before beginning to eat one. she didn't even notice matthew on the opposite side of the table. all she was doing was eating the carrots and staring at the table, thinking and worrying. she couldn't stop thinking about anthony, he made her happy but she made him so sad. she felt the tears begin to fall again, she held them in all day but there they went. at least her anthony wasn't here to see them, she had to be happy. for him and for detta. notes // here you go love and if your busy take your time<3

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY IRON & WINE

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[sonice]

THE TRUTH COMES OUT IN THE BREAKDOWNS
( • M E M O R I E S M Y G O D T H E S E M E M O R I E S • )

Matt sighed a little bit as he pulled his head off from the table. He began to stare around the cafeteria as he heard a few voices around. He noticed Hannah sitting at the same table as him, not having noticed him, or ignoring him. The freshman knew Hannah, and liked her. She went to a lot of his Junior Varsity Football games, which was very rare for an upper classmen. Usually the audience consisted of people in the ninth and tenth grades, but Hannah was at most of the games.

She was sort of like an older sister to him, and he knew of her mother having passed away. Usually he would go over, talk to her and give her a hug, but it would just be weird he thought. She looked upset, as expected and it seemed like maybe she didn't want anyone to bring it up. Deciding it was wise to maybe take a break from the math, the 15 year old got up out of the chair and walked over to where Hannah was sitting. He looked at her and waved a cheery wave, hoping to try and cheer her up, if that was even possible. The boy took the chair across from the older girl and he let a sweet and cheerful smile spread across his face.

Matt really was not totally sure what to say. What could he say? Considering the circumstances even talking to her was kind of risky. If he said anything a little too risky she would get pissed at him, and understandably so. "Ermmm hey Hannah," his smile faded as he looked at her, than at the floor before returning his look back on her. He truly had no clue what he, a 15 year old freshman could say to somehow help her through this sort of a situation. Matthew had never had to deal with any sort of adversity of this degree, and he was not sure how he would react to it if he were in her shoes. Just being at school was big he thought. He doubted he could have went to school so soon after such a thing happening. "How are you?...." He said before realizing just how stupid of a question that was, it was pretty apparent how she felt. Matthew awkwardly looked away for a few seconds, hoping she would understand he just wasn't sure what to say.

THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING OH THOSE MEMORIES
( • A S Y O U S P O K E Y O U R F O R K E D T O N G U E S H O W E D • )

W O R D S • i honestly dunno
T A G G E D • for hannah/gabby
O U T F I T • click!
L Y R I C S • memories by lion if ido
T E M P L A T E • PANIC! ITS LAUZ of CAUTION
N O T E S • these are notes. aren't they pretty?

[hannah lynn zepherson]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; background-image: url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/oceanbreezebg.png); padding-bottom: 20px;] words // 410 // outfit // clicky // tagged // matthew and zach boy with a coin, T H E N M A K I N G A W I S H , A N D T O S S E D I N T H E S E A hannah was a weird girl in the fact that she did what she wanted to do and didn't really care if people saw her differently. that was probably why so many people liked her and enjoyed her company. she was just hannah lynn zepherson and she just did what the hell she wanted to do. like go to jv football games. she just enjoyed the sport after going to so many varsity games because of anthony, plus they were pretty quiet games and she had the chance to really relax and enjoy the sport instead of wanting to beat up the screaming girls who kept saying the captain was cute. the captain was now her boyfriend and they could all shove a foot in their mouth before she did it for them. so yes the girl knew matthew and she thought he was the cutest thing ever and he really was adorable. plus he was a cute little freshman and who didn't want to be like a big sister to one? probably normal people, but hannah wasn't exactly normal. however she didn't see him at first and if she had, well she would have walked to him and gave him a happy smile and practiced her happy face. but she didn't notice him until he sat down in front of her with a very happy smile. she wondered how he could do that, just smile like it was no problem and it took her so much effort to return just a small one? she wished life could be that easy but she forced herself to smile softly. it wasn't as meaningful as her normal smiles and it would be noticeable to anyone who saw her smile a lot before this "hey matty," she said not exactly in her normal tone, she sounded almost years older and sadder. like she grew older in the few days that her mother has been gone. she heard so many sorry's and how are yous today that the girl was going to explode if she heard another one. she didn't get people, there was nothing to be sorry about and she obviously wasn't good. her mom was dead, how did they think she was? but matthew said one of those things hannah didn't want to hear but she took a deep breath. she had already snapped enough of everyone else including anthony, she didn't need to push another friend away. "i'm fine..how are you?" notes // laa<3 not the best

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY IRON & WINE

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[sonice]

THE TRUTH COMES OUT IN THE BREAKDOWNS
( • M E M O R I E S M Y G O D T H E S E M E M O R I E S • )

Matt noticed her less than excited smile. He really could not expect too much else, her mother had just passed away. As soon as he thought it through, the 15 year old's smile left his face as he felt it was a little too much maybe. Matt heard her call him by his nickname, Matty and he smirked a little bit. When she, or any of the older classmen called him that it made him smile a little bit. It made him feel like he was all of their younger brothers, it was certainly a bit weird at times, but he dealt with it as a sign of them at least appreciating him being there. There were a lot of under classmen who did not even get so much from their older counterparts.

The boy noticed her different tone and he couldn't help but feel terrible for her. That was his nature, to feel bad for people when they went through something as terrible as what she had recently went through. Matt just could not imagine it. To him, trauma was being benched in football or something, a loss like this would devastate him beyond what he could imagine. She lied to him saying she was fine and he decided it was best to ignore the lie and simply go on. "Uhmm I guess I'm doing okay... a little mad at my math homework, but otherwise I guess i am doing alright," he said as his earlier radiating smile returned.

Matthew felt awkward because he just didn't know what to say. He just thought it would be the right thing to do to come and talk to Hannah. she was like an older sister to him, and he had not even spoken to her since she had returned to school, and he hoped maybe he random positiveness could help her out and get her back on her feet as quickly as she could. His smile faded away slowly and he began to kick the floor underneath him, not really sure what to say, or if he should say anything at all. His mind began to wonder towards what he knew best; football and how happy he was there was no practice today.

THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING OH THOSE MEMORIES
( • A S Y O U S P O K E Y O U R F O R K E D T O N G U E S H O W E D • )

W O R D S • i honestly dunno
T A G G E D • for hannah/gabby
O U T F I T • click!
L Y R I C S • memories by lion if ido
T E M P L A T E • PANIC! ITS LAUZ of CAUTION
N O T E S • these are notes. aren't they pretty?

[hannah lynn zepherson]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; background-image: url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/oceanbreezebg.png); padding-bottom: 20px;] words // 437 // outfit // clicky // tagged // matthew and zach boy with a coin, T H E N M A K I N G A W I S H , A N D T O S S E D I N T H E S E A kind of glad he was here, to take her out of her funk and she could practice her happy smiles and to keep her attitude in check. she had to stop being so mopey and go on, or at least look like she was moving on. she needed to stop being sad because she knew it hurt anthony and her friends. but it was really hard. she was losing detta too, even if she was saying she wasn't. she was. detta had been treating her differently and almost coldly. she was trying to make things better but it always seemed like detta was so reluctant in hanging out with her. she saw how she acted around caleb and tony and it hurt so much that she didn't smile around her. it pained her. she couldn't help with the lie, she was tired of answering the question because half the people who asked didn't really give a rats ass about her. if anything they thought if they were nice to the popular girl during a time like this, they'd get there way. she just said fuck them. she couldn't handle them right now, they just made her so angry. all of them just pissed her off. matty didn't, she knew he wanted to know but she was trying to be good and fine. she just took a deep breath and wipe the little bit of tears from her eyes. sitting up straight, she plastered a smile on her face. it wasn't as big as normal, and it didn't have the ray of happiness it usually held, but it was a smile either way. "math homework. blah. i feel your pain." she wasn't really doing her homework but then again, she just couldn't handle that right now. she watched his smile fade and she sighed, she was even making the always positive matthew sad. it hurt her so much, how she seemed to be making everyone around her hurt and sad. that was why she needed to move on and be happy. it was just so hard and she took another deep breath and looked at him. "hey matty why the long face?" she bit the inside of her cheek and leaned on the table. "maybe i can help you with your math? so you won't have to worry about it anymore." that would be the things she would say, and mean, if she was okay but she really didn't want to deal with math or anything like that. but she would, for her friends. for matty, for detta and for anthony. as well as for herself. notes // laa<3 not the best

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TEMPLATE BY KHRISTIAN @ CAUTION 2.0, LYRICS BY IRON & WINE

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