lover dearest [larissa]

[stella marie brexton-sans]

Stella Marie Brexton-Sans books were piled up in a corner and you could see a blanket pulled over the girls slender figure. You could hear sobs from under the blanket and see it shaking from time to time. No one really seemed to bother her or check up on her which hurt a little more, but no one but one person would really understand what was wrong. Stella was Larissa's secret admirer and yet the girl pushed her away. The seventeen year old blonde was heartbroken, because she had done nothing wrong and Lisa had basically well pushed her far enough away to prove the point she didn't want anything to do with the nerd. Stella though she was different she was beautiful and she loved spending time with her. Neither of her daddies or mom prepared her for this....nor did the other break ups. This wasn't a break up...it was well she wasn't even her girlfriend but it hurt so bad. She just wanted Lisa and it was so unfair. She was shaking beneath her blanket as her alarm went off. She had been skipping school but showering...well when no one was there would be okay she needed to keep herself clean instead of turning into a big ol' ball of gross.

Though she felt gross and unwanted for the first time in her life and it actually meant something. Stella fell...she fell for Lisa! She was slowly acting on it and then boom...flat line. She pushed the blankets off herself her puffy red eyes and nose exposed to whoever was in the room. At first she was gathering up a new set of pajama's but then she saw the last note she wrote Lisa...it was signed her name. No no she couldn't take it anymore she was going to shower and try and be as cleaned up as she could and just go over there. She cared that Lisa didn't want to see her but she needed to see Larissa Alvey. She had to tell her everything and she wanted answers. Something just finally snapped. She went and got in the shower cleaning herself and then after she got out she gave herself some time applying a small amount out of make up and kind of sobbed into the air but there were no tears. She was just sooo scared she was going to tell her to leave and never speak to her again period. That would hurt more then anything..

The blonde pulled her hair into a bun and she looked in the mirror. She felt so funny dressed in a dress and flats and trying to look nice, but maybe it would improve things. She took a deep breath grabbing the key and the note. She didn't bother with her phone it was dead and shut off from the world. She made her way from the third floor to the first floor and knocked on the door. "Please please please answer and please don't hate me" she whispered. She was so nervous her hand was shaking the one wit the note in it...but she had so many questions and she just couldn't let what she felt die. She couldn't stay away.

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___________________________________________________[/color]

words; five thirty-five
muse; give your heart a break demi lovato
outfit; lover dearest
credits; zie @ CAUTION!
lyrics by Marianas Trench!

[/center]

[larissa katherine alvey]

the moment she heard from her dad that the kitchen was set on fire by some arsonist...her body began to shake with fear. it was such a familiar thing. but they were alive...she had called stella just to hear her voice then hung up quickly. she had to make sure she was alive and not like tanya. she did the same to rayne, alice and sasha. all were alive and safe and she would save them this time. she would save the people she loved. she refused to let the same thing happen over and over again. the cycle will end because she'd stop it by stopping this. but the moment she decided that her heart hurt more than it ever did. even tanya's dying didn't hurt as much as this. she would see stella in the halls and have to hide, sasha roomed with her, alice and ray were everywhere but she didn't talk to them. she didn't say anything and just hid. seeing them was worst then just knowing they weren't alive.

she didn't stay in bed though or in her room except to sleep. she stayed in places like the pool or the bathrooms and cried. sasha wasn't in her room, so she was in her bed, under her covers and just crying her eyes out. there was a knock at the door and she was assuming it was someone for sasha and just closed her eyes, "she's not here," she screamed before sob escaped and she buried her head into her pillow but she couldn't be rude so she walked to the door and stood there about to open it. that was until a familiar voice drifted through the door..stella..another sob escaped. how could she do this? could she ignore her? could she tell her that she hated her...did she have the ability to lie to someone she had come to like a lot? she felt feelings come again, feeling she hadn't felt since tasha.

she knew deep down she couldn't throw it away or hurt stella. she had no makeup on because she didn't want to worry about it. her hair was in a sloppy ponytail and pretty much looked like crap. instead of her usual form fitting outfits that made her feel beautiful, she was in baggy clothes that made her feel even more like shit but she didn't care. the sadness had come to takeover her body and mind and she bit her lip, wiping at the tears but the tear stains on her shirt were evident as she stood at the door in silence contemplating ot open it or to ignore it. then she slowly opened the door to show a girl. a beautiful girl she liked a lot. in a dress that only made her want to comment on it and hug her..kiss her. she looked at the ground. no. she couldn't. she needed to protect stella. it was important. what if she died..what if her sister killed her too! she couldn't..no she couldn't do it again.

tagged: janet with stella
words: five hundred and fourteen
outfit: baggy pants and a tanktop

[stella marie brexton-sans]

in all honesty she had very little energy left! the seventeen year old blonde had pretty much fell into a slump. a weird awkward stump! ditching school that wasn’t her. she called her dad and had him call her in sick and even went just shut sadie out. yeah, not even sadie could get through to a small sad feeble like stella and that was a difficult one. what was it that larissa had done? she just really really liked the girl a lot and randomly it was like she was slamming a door in her face and telling her she couldn’t see her? though she would see her around campus and that would hurt! though she still couldn’t hate or be mad at larissa. she didn’t have that within her! she was more a lover then a hater. she could be a real bitch though if she was well about her time on the month, but what girl couldn’t right now though she was irritable and she felt like she was losing control and the only thing or person that was going to turn this all around well was hidden behind the door.

the explanation was not satisfactory and that was why stella was cleaned up in a dress and trying to look like a lady, but also, it was because hse was hoping somehow dressing up would help lisa change her mind. the girl yelled out she wasn’t here and stella smiled hearing her voice, but it wasn’t her roommate she was looking for. she touched the door and waited to hear if hse heard movement. she heard a sob at the door and instantly a pain in her stomach shot up. ”larissa?” she instantly questioned the hand slipping down to the door knob. she wanted to like thrust it open and hug the beautiful girl. ”larissa please” she said not wanting to upset her by doing that because it’d be disrespecting her privacy and in a sense she was kind of disrespecting her request but she couldn’t take it anymore!


the girl opened the door finally and stood there in silence and looking down at the ground. she couldn’t even look at her that was a horrible sign. stella gulped and her hand slowly moved forward beneath the chin and lifted it up gently. ”i know you don’t want me here or well im disrespecting your wishes, but i want..we were getting so close” she said biting her lip. ”i found out who your secret admirer was and i thought we were having a lot of fun, but i want to ask why why don’t you want me around?” her voice was shaky and nervous and fearful. she just waited for the door to be smacked up in front of her face and to return to her jammies and her bed but the hope inside of her well it was stronger for the moment being because she didn’t want to leave and she was hoping that she wouldn’t have to. no make up a messy ponytail and baggy clothing did the female justice even. it was so unfair, but stella felt slightly pretty in her little cotton dress and just hoped she wasn’t over doing it all and it wasn’t silly.

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___________________________________________________[/color]

words; five forty-four
muse; give your heart a break demi lovato
outfit; lover dearest
credits; zie @ CAUTION!
lyrics by Marianas Trench!

[/center]

[larissa katherine alvey]

larissa hadn't talked to anyone...she hadn't moved from her bed. not when no one was there. if sasha was there, she'd leave and go somewhere else where she sat there and cried. she listened to music, and sang with no worries of people listening. she needed to calm down. she needed to make the pain go away, so she cut and she cried and she sang it was all she could do. she couldn't manage to smile, to pay attention in class or to do anything. not even eat. she couldn't eat either because she didn't deserve it. if only she had the courage to end her life. then everyone would be safe from her sister.

no matter what larissa wanted to think or say, she was happy that stella didn't listen to her. this meant that stella cared...and if she cared. no. lisa couldn't think like that! she needed to think of her tanya and the fires. if stella died..because of her. she would only cause herself and more people pain. she didn't even cover up her scars today. she didn't think she'd run into anyone. there were fresh cuts running down her arm becasue the pain was too much. she had missed stella too much. she just couldn't look at stella because it hurt. she knew that she had to tell her to go away sooner or later but she didn't want to do that yet. she wanted to talk to her and feel happy for a little bit. "i..i know we were," she said trying not to sob again, trying to not let the tears fall down her face. she missed stella, she missed sasha and she missed her cousin and sister so much. she even missed her mom and dad. but she couldn't...it..no. she couldn't do it!

the secret admirier..she didn't..no. it wasn't important..why would this person like her anyway? it wasn't stella..so it didnt' matter anyway. she just wanted stella to like her but she wished she could be with her..but she couldn't. she'd cause her parents and sister so much pain if she did it. "i.. dont' really want to..know.." she shook her head and bit her lip, then she wanted to know why..how could lisa explain this? she couldn't...she couldn't lie but she couldn't.. "its not..that..that i don't want..you around," she said, the tears falling down again. "i..just..." she shook her head, it was too complicated to explain and then stella would try to persuade her otherwise. it..she couldn't. she had to save stella!

"please..stella..i just..i can't," she shook her head and finally looked up at stella but the only thing that happened was the tears. they fell down her face and she sobbed, she couldn't do it anymore. it hurt so much..she wanted stella so bad and she couldn't say no...she wouldn't be able to tell stella to go away if she kept standing there in that dress. hell if she was standing there in sweats larissa wouldn't be able to say no because she couldn't. it hurt a lot.

tagged: janet with stella
words: five hundred and thirty-two
outfit: baggy pants and a tanktop

[stella marie brexton-sans]

stella and larissa were honestly in the same boat. the girl before her was sobbing and it only made stella want to cry more. yeah she wanted to cry and she didn’t even know what was going on. if larissa was sad wouldn’t she want people to be there in order to cheer her up. ice cream! oh the girl should have brought ice cream girls liked to eat that after a break up or some devastating event. she mentally smacked herself for that one. the silence came over the two for a bit and it made stella feel weaker in the stomach. she hadn’t said her peace yet why she was officially here and yet she felt like why she was here was being rejected like what she had to offer wouldn’t be enough. she didn’t mean to be having a pity party and not say a damn word, but right now she was..she was having a little pity party within herself. poor stella wasn’t good enough it seemed. she wished a crane would just strike her with the wrecking ball right now and spare her the embarrassment, but her mama’s stubbornness within her was what was making her feet stayed glued. oh and the simple fact she wanted to scream I WANT YOU LARISSA TO MYSELF. yeah but stella wasn’t like that...she was going to do this more subtly maybe that heartbreak would just crumble faster like a band aid being ripped off opposed to the slow ache and break she had been feeling.

her eyes wondered about the girl wondering what was going on in that beautiful little head of hers. even though stella wasn’t being looked at she kind of smiled getting to see lisa for more than a second. her mind was playing games on her like it meant something but she shouldn’t allow it to do so. it may come back and bite her in the ass in time to come. had stella found out the reason behind lisa not seeing her she’d well she wouldn’t care about tanya and pry tell lisa she would take her chances. did that sound silly? death for a chance? maybe, but she didn’t think someone like that was just out and about stalking larissa in a highly maintained school mostly for the rich and brainy. well that was stella’s opinion about this damn place! she said she knew they were...were were...yeah that was going to kind of fuck with stella’s mind now. ”correction are” she said kind of letting the stubborn part come out again. she origianlly said were but she meant are...yeah they had just parted temporarily, that was all!

she was hoping that she would say she wanted to know rather then she didn’t want to know and the words well they slapped stella a bit, but she couldn’t just no she couldn’t just drop it because it was her. technically she never lied about it either, because it was never brought about to be stella and lisa never asked. had she asked she would have told her the truth. stella took lisa’s hand and put the note in it. ”i’m not calling you a liar or anything, but everyone likes to know who’s secretly admiring them...i don’t know you may just be surprised...i didn’t read it..” she said biting her lip. no she didn’t because she wrote it so again it wasn’t a lie. it wasn’t that she didn’t want her around? now she was confused but she hoped that note made all the difference in her decision the right decision...


”I can’t just walk away Larissa” she said reaching up and wiping of her cheeks with her thumbs. ”I mean I tried I did try for you to respect what you asked, but I can’t” she said sucking in her lip and tears began to move down her cheek as well. ”Please don’t ask me to go again” she said her eyes traveling about her seeing the cuts and her teary eyes glanced back into her teary eyes. ”i’ll be there for you...you can talk to me please..tell me?”

[/font][/blockquote][/justify]
___________________________________________________[/color]

words; six eighty-six
muse; give your heart a break demi lovato
outfit; lover dearest
credits; zie @ CAUTION!
lyrics by Marianas Trench!

[/center]

[larissa katherine alvey]

larissa didn't know what she wanted anymore, she wanted stella then she didn't then she did! okay so she always wanted stella but she just didn't want to admit it because then stella wouldn't leave. she wouldn't go away! and she would stay..and if she stayed well then she'd die. her sister killed everyone she loved and lisa never understood why the girl did it but she did and it pained her so much! it made her heartache that her sister could be so cold and so heartless, that she'd kill anyone lisa came to love and care for! especially tanya. she killed tanya..it pained lisa and made her want to go hide and die but she couldn't because she didn't know what to do! and would tanya be upset with her? for falling in love again..or dating again. for falling for another woman when she hadn't even been dead more than two years? she hoped tanya didn't hate her for stella, she didn't mean to like someone! but it wouldn't matter because she just couldn't do it!

are. that was a word lisa didn't like very much and she shook her head and it made more tears come out. "no..are. we can..we can't be!" she wanted to just keel over and die for saying that, it hurt so much and she wanted to it down and just cry her eyes out for saying those words. she liked stella a lot and she wanted to be something and so the words pained the girl and she just stood there and looked at the ground.

no matter how much she wanted to go and hug her and hold her and tell her that she wanted her too, she couldn't do it because then she'd die! stella would die if she gave into her feelings and she really didn't want to know who her secret admirer was! before she did so she could find them and tell them she liked someone else. but now? she couldn't like anyone because her sister was out of jail now, how she got out lisa didn't know. but she tried to kill sammie and jeremiah! she tried to kill her mom and dad..it hurt and she wanted everyone to leave her alone. now she didn't want to know because either way it wouldn't matter, she wasn't going to get close to the secret girl or to stella. she just couldn't.

"i don't want to know...because its not you..and..and if it was..i wouldn't..we can't.." she stared at the note but she really didn't want to open it then she looked up and stella said so many words. words that hurt! they twisted poor lisa's stomach and made her want to cut again because it hurt. "please..stella please..you need to leave! you need to go.." she shook her head, "its not safe please." she bit her lip and watched as stella looked at her arm and she quickly back stepped into her room. "i..i don't need...i don't..please..its not save stella please." it was too much and she didn't' care stella was here anymore she had to..the pain..the twisting in her stomach was too much and she fell onto her bed, fumbling under her bed for her razor and shook her head. "please stella..just..please." her hand wrapped around the blade and she felt it dig into her skin and she pulled it out and clutched it, letting it cut deep into her hand and began to shake a little. "let me..please..its not safe..stella..go.."

tagged: janet with stella
words: six hundred and nine
outfit: baggy pants and a tanktop

[stella marie brexton-sans]

stella knew exactly what she wanted! however if she was going to get it was a different story entirely. she wasn’t about to force someone to love her to like her...she wanted it all to be very much true on its own. stella wanted larissa to want her and to love her and such all by herself and create a cute little love story, but that was faltering. the girl was gaining false hope as they stood in the silence among one another. it meant that larissa was thinking, but it well it didn’t necessarily mean the thoughts were good. no, they could turn out to be horrible, but stella had hope and the stubborn blood in her veins were telling her there was nothing to worry about that the two girls would be okay. the two of them! she wanted to hug her and to hold her and to kiss her, but those weren’t things she could do against larissa’s will nor were they things she would do, but that didn’t stop her from the thoughts going on in her head. the younger brexton-sans heart raced as she stood their nervous and awaiting something anything to happen, but maybe that was the first mistake. she could only make so many moves though without feeling like she was pressuring larissa.


No..are. we.can..we can’t be. Why stella was still frozen was kind of puzzling. Well, it was like her feet were glued to the damn floor. the seventeen year old bit her lip to avoid crying she didn’t care if she bit it until it bled because she just stared at larissa for a moment as she cried more and it seemed as if those words made her sad, but at the same time she still said them. what was making her say these things if she didn’t mean them. no she meant them. stella looked at the ground wanting to comfort her, but she didn’t she couldn’t she was hurting to bad to do that. her hands were shaking so she kind of just folding her arms across her stomach and she felt like she was going to be sick. she hated this... there were no words so why was she still here, because her mind, body, and heart wasn’t willing to let her give up. her feelings were too strong and she didn’t want to go back to that bed and cry she wanted to go to larissa’s bed and hold her and for everything to be alright! it wasn’t though.



stella’s eyes came up upon the girl and her lip was freed for the time being. she was going to say it was her and hope that it would mean something, but then she said she wouldn’t care and for the first time stella got kind of angry...she didn’t want to but it was her heart...and it was already broken, but she just stumped on it and she didn’t get why. ”you wouldn’t care? i don’t know what you’re trying to prove, but thats not the same larissa i know, because my names on that note and it is me...and i...” she choked in the midst of her anger. ..forget it” she whispered and began to cry and then larissa began to yell about how she couldn’t and how it wasn’t safe and pleases and how she needed to go and she was going on and on about it. ”don’t make excuses..i felt safe but now i forget it” she said reaching for the note and managed to get it and crumbled it up. ”i’m foolish to even believe for a second i stood a chance i guess just when i thought i could tell you you push me away...but don’t blame it on safety just be honest and tell me you don’t want me...” she said dropping the crumbled paper. ”ill leave my love at the door...sorry to bother you” if she was scared...of love that wasn’t stella’s fault and she didn’t like that she was telling her to please go and it wasn’t safe...she didn’t understand! the girl wiped some tears away as she turned to go a hand reaching for the wall because she didn’t feel sturdy enough to even walk on her own she was hurt that bad...

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___________________________________________________[/color]

words; seven fourteen
muse; give your heart a break demi lovato
outfit; lover dearest
credits; zie @ CAUTION!
lyrics by Marianas Trench!

[/center]

[larissa katherine alvey]

not care? those words didn't leave her lips...she would care. a lot. it would hurt her more. because she didn't want stella to like her, stella needed someone better. someone that wasn't broken, that couldn't hurt her...she needed a safe place. alice and raylyn needed safe people. everyone needed to be safe. that was larissa's only thoughts. to protect! she didn't want to hurt she wanted them safe. why wasn't anyone believing her? or trusting her. it hurt to hear those words! not the words in which stella admitted it was her name on the note but the forget it. she didn't want to forget it. "no..no..stella..i..care!" she bit her lip and let the tears fall more. "why would i cry..why would i..lay in bed in pain with a broken heart..if..if i didn't care? i want you safe..please.." she bit down on her lip to muffle a sob and shake her head, she couldn't do this anymore. stella wasn't listening and it made everything worse that stella liked her..everything was confusing larissa and she didn't know what to do anymore.

an excuse? lisa only wished it was an excuse because that meant stella wasn't in harms way. that meant she could love her and they could be happy and no one would die. but that's not how life worked. her parents, her grandmother, her adoptive parents and tanya were proof of that. everyone around her died and at first she never connected it. not until the end, when her sister was caught. only then did it all click. that was when she began to pull herself away from things because everyone was dying and she didn't want to feel again. she didn't want that pain again. she didn't want to be the cause of other's, that was why she pushed stella away and she couldn't handle her being here! it twisted her heart in ways lisa had never imagined and it was worse than when tanya died. it was just so painful and she wanted to hide in a corner and cry her eyes out.

the blood was now dripping onto the floor and stella was trying to leave..lisa couldn't let her. there was just a piece of her that wanted everything ot be better, for stella to stay and she dropped the blade on the ground and rushed to stella's side, "no please..please...dont'..no dont." what was she doing! tanya's beautiful face drifted in her mind and then she saw the cold dead body and she closed her eyes. "i..i want you but..but its not safe..." she bit her lip and sobbed. "its not an excuse..my sister..she..its nto safe..please believe me stella..please" i think i love you...she couldn't say the words because she couldn't! that would make everything hurt three times as much if she let those words escape her beautiful soft lips. she didn't need to cause stella any more pain. her bloody hand went and took stella's and she didn't pull it away. she just closed her eyes and let the tears fall.

tagged: janet with stella
words: five hundred and twenty-nine
outfit: baggy pants and a tanktop

[stella marie brexton-sans]

the girl said if it was you she wouldn’t. in stella marie’s mind it meant that if it was her name on that note that larissa wouldn’t care. the girl felt so tricked! maybe, it was her own fault for trying to make herself think she stood a chance with a pretty girl like larissa. how was this protecting her at all? well, it wasn’t like she knew exactly what was going on, but had she it was only breaking stella and it wasn’t pretty when the blonde felt hurt and well the other blonde either, but stella was a happy character usually. it wasn’t that stella did not believe larissa, because she didn’t want to believe some words, but that little voice in her head was twisting things to make it seem like larissa was flat out saying she didn’t want to be with stella, that she wouldn’t be with stella if that was her note....it was so confusing when she said she cared! stella wanted to scream and tell het it wasn’t funny anymore it was her heart she was playing with, but she explained further. why was she crying? why was she broken hearted? safe? please? ”but sometimes it hurts instead” she whispered thinking of that song that she had been listening to. it was silly really, because larissa and her they hadn’t even admitted completely their feelings to one another, but someone like you spoke so much to the moment. ”i don’t know what i am anymore but i know this isn’t safe” she said pointing to her heart and her finger shaking. ”so if you think your keeping me safe its a little late for that” she said as the first tear fell.

at one point stella was walking away and holding on to a wall which see said she couldn’t do, but she was trying to do. she felt like she was going to be sick honestly. this pain was making her sick. was this what unconditional love was like? it was painful and it made you want to just give up when the other half of it seemingly or so your head seemingly made it seem...the blonde couldn’t do it anymore her knees were weak and her face was stained with tears. the make up slowly being stained with water. she fell trying to clutch the wall and kind of just gave up curling up as she cried. she wanted to go home like sadie did now. she didn’t want to be here anymore, but the reason she was here was because larissa and her mama said she’d take care of her...but she was all alone now and she didn’t feel safe...what she’d give to be invisible right now.

everything was kind of a blur to her right now as she was crying on the floor and when stella cried she sobbed and it wasn’t pretty and she just wished she would have stayed in her room now and the heart ache would have been much cleaner behind closed doors. no one would see how pathetic she looked when she cried. she heard faint no’s and don’ts but her eyes were shut and she was pretending or trying to pretend she’d be okay. then she felt a wet like hand in hers she didn’t know it was blood, but it was painful to her. why was larissa doing this? saying no but at her side now holding her hand. she wanted her but it wasn’t safe. her sister wasn’t safe. the young girls eyes opened and everything was still blurry. ”please stop trying to protect me and juust tell me what you want from me?” she cried out. ”this isn’t about your sister th-“ she stopped and blinked out a few more tears kind of pulling herself up looking to the blonde and her spare hand going to her face and trailing to her lips tracing them. ”i don’t know your sister larissa, but i know you and being safe means i can be with you, but if you don’t want to be with me...” she kind of sobbed into the air after her words. ”then i can’t say i i didn’t tryy” she choked out letting her hand fall from her face.

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___________________________________________________[/color]

words; seven ten
muse; someone like you adele
outfit; lover dearest
credits; zie @ CAUTION!
lyrics by Marianas Trench!

[/center]

[larissa katherine alvey]

hurt? she didn't want stella hurt..no that wasn't what she wanted and she just kind of cried even more. "noo...your..supposed to be happy!" she bit her lip,"you should be happy..your..your safe and..and you don't have to be around me anymore..you..you can be with someone better than me." the more lisa stood here with stella, the more she wanted to kill herself. not because stella annoyed her and made her want to shoot herself sarcastically. but because it was painful! she didn't protect..she h urt! that was worse than anything her sister could ever do. she broke stella's heart and that just made her want to end her life and she sobbed. "please move on..be happy."

stella fell! she fell and it made lisa's heart break because she was crying and sobbing and she felt horrible. she wanted to hit herself for making her cry like this. she wanted to please for her to understand that it was all for her safety but then she wanted to plead for forgiveness! to ask for forgiveness and go on loving stella..that's what lisa really wanted to do but then there was tanya again.

"you..you don't need to know her," she said softly, "she...she knows you! she killed..she killed my parents..and my nana and and my adoptive parents and tanya!" lisa clutched stella's hand and she couldn't let go. no matter what would happen, she didn't want to let go. biting her lip, she sobbed again and wiped at her face. "please stella..she'll kiill you..i just don't want you dead." she kept shaking her head butstill she didn't get up and leave. she didn't go hide in her room because she wanted stella. "i..i.i like you..a..lot i think i might." she shook her head and bit her lip, "no..i can't..that..no.." tanya....tanya..tanya. she had to think of her! protect lisa and not make tanya hate her! she was probably looking down at her with disgust in her eyes and it hurt. "i..want to stella," she whispered softly before looking in the blondes eyes.

screw tanya..screw her sister. that's what her heart was telling her, to just kiss stella and get it over with. but what..she didn't know what to do but lisa had always been a girl to listen to her heart. even if her brain screamed at her things were going the wrong way, she'd always let her heart lead and though she had gotten hurt a lot. she was still alive, it didn't lead her to death but would it lead stella? just like tanya? she didn't know but her heart was screaming with pain and so she leaned close and kissed stella's lips softly before pulling away and looking down at her and stella's hands that were covered in blood now. she bit her lip and hoped that stella wouldn't turn away and just leave.

tagged: janet with stella
words: five hundred and two
outfit: baggy pants and a tanktop

[stella marie brexton-sans]

this had to be some sort of sick joke, because now she was telling her she was supposed to be happy how was she supposed to be happy upon rejection. stella marie was growing slightly frustrated and shaking out of being sad and upset. then she said she didn’t have to be around her anymore and that was all it took stella couldn’t hold it together anymore. ”I DON’T WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE ELSE I CAME HERE TO BE WITH YOU!” the blonde covered her mouth not meaning to yell at larissa, but it was honesty and she was pushing her away and she just couldn’t take it anymore! it was a very painful experience one that could just stop if larissa would stop telling her to do what she didn’t want to do...she wanted to be with her. ”no.” she said stubbornly. ”no no no a million times no...if you want me happy you’ll stop pushing me away and stop confusing me and then then ill be happy”

it was really not a pretty sight to have to watch. stella sad was like uncontrollable when it came to crying and stuff and she hated it. she honestly got it from summer though. when the woman was sad she curled up and the tears and the sobbing sounded like it was going to be like the death of her. the situation was usually pretty fucked, but the little blonde felt herself choking a bit as well and knew she needed to cut it out, but she couldn’t.

the reality behind this all was she was trying to prevent her from dying? really? and she killed all those people and that was scary, but stella didn’t get it. how did tanya know her she was just some little nerd declaring her love for a girl in front of her. stella felt so unknown it wasn’t even funny yet this girl was begging her to go so she didn’t die and because she didn’t want her to die. ”stoop it” the girl choked in her cries. ”pleease stop it larissa” she said sucking in her breath. she the girl liked her and that was all that really stella could ponder on those words and then she said she think she might what? no she couldn’t it was all so confusing to the girl and she said she wanted to and she was looking into her eyes. stella grew nervous this very beautiful girl was staring into a mess and she wanted to...her head was spinning with mixed emotions. ”please tell me just want you want and put it all aside for a moment its just you and me” because it was just her and larissa in the hall.

her eyes were so pretty and she was looking into them like she finally wanted to and little miss stella marie was oh so nervous because it felt like it felt so right. her heart was racing in a good way now. finally her lips were on hers and stella kissed her back only to have her pull away and the blonde smiled now. she wasn’t worried about death she was worried about how her breath was...she didn’t get up well she leaned up and kissed larissa again passionately, because its how the girl deserved to be kissed and how stella longed to kiss her.

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words; seven ten
muse; someone like you adele
outfit; lover dearest
credits; zie @ CAUTION!
lyrics by Marianas Trench!

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[larissa katherine alvey]

lisa's head was spinning and everything was just not working well for her. everything she was trying to do was failing miserably. so she just stood there with tears in her eyes and a pain filled heart. she just wanted stella to be happy, was that asking too much? apparently it was asking a lot because it wasn't working her way. nothing was working her way! her whole body shook with sadness and hatred. stella yelled! she screamed and it only made it that much worse. everything was just causing her so much pain and causing stella pain. she needed to just stop it all! stop with the sadness and fear and crazy feelings! she needed to let herself be happy, stella liked her and she liked stella.

she wasn't grossed out seeing stella cry, but she was pained! she wanted to kiss her and make her happy! to wipe the tears away and hold the girl close but to do that meant to give in! what if her sister tried to kill stella? she didn't want to lose another love! losing tanya was enough but the more she stayed in the presence of stella, the more her control was beginning to leave her. she couldn't stay away for long and she knew that! she knew that she wouldn't be able to say no a bunch of times but she had hoped that she wouldn't have stella here telling her to stop.

all the stops just made lisa cry more and she didn't want to stop but she did! it was all beginning to get too confusing for her. her heart was battleing her mind and she didn't know what to do. she wanted to talk to jinxx but she was pushing him away too! how was this making any sense? it wasn't but she didn't care! it was the right thing to do. to save them all from pain and death. she looked into stella's crying eyes as she begged her to stop and then told her to just tell her what she wanted. that was when lisa decided to go with her heart, "you! i want you! but my sister..she'll kill you like she did tanya! and everyone else." she wanted stella to get it and put her saftey first! but she also didn't want her to! she wanted stella to tell her to stop being an idiot.

kissing stella was amazing and she didn't want to stop and when she kissed her again, lisa kissed her back. she pulled back and smiled, "i'm so sorry." her hand had stopped bleeding from clutching stella's and she hid it in her lap, though it was kind of hard to hide the blood that was all on stella and she held her breath and stared at the girls hand.

tagged: janet with stella
words: four hundred and seventy
outfit: baggy pants and a tanktop

[stella marie brexton-sans]

stella was really puzzled with the other blonde she didn’t understand all of this it was going too fast in her opinion even if it was going incredibly slow and the broken pieces were just being shattered more. she didn’t understand why she was so sad! larissa could have her and this would be there would be no more sorrow in either of their worlds, but whether she liked her or not she was still in a sense rejecting her. even if she was doing it, because she in fact cared. this caused more pain, because it was someone she loved...liked respected and admired and it was like being stabbed in the back and not knowing what to do it was all cleared from view and it was all so hazey because the tears that blurred her eyes even if she somewhat understood it. the mind of stella marie was clouded with more emotions than just sorrow.

she felt so disgusting crying here now! she was sobbing cause she was trying to stop, because it wasn’t good to let larissa see what she caused. it made her kind of angry in a sense, because she didn’t want sympathy really not after she broke her heart, but she didn’t see it like larissa saw it she just was thinking way to much really. she didn’t see herself dying anytime soon with larissa and the trouble of it all she was just sad she wasn’t even being given a shot because of this. people at this school and the cops in boston weren’t going to let stella be harmed? plus, she didn’t exactly leave campus unless she was with an adult or a group of people because even though she was a nerd and didn’t have many friends she had the people she considered family here and her real mother was a teacher here. stella would just feel safer with larissa, because she wouldn’t be broke.


when larissa said she wanted her and then went on to tell her she was going to die her little no bigish brown eyes looked up at her and she shook her head. ”please forgive me for this, but if you want me you have me you can shush about the rest i don’t care about any of it i just want to be with you” the girl piped up finally saying how she felt about it and speaking up for what she wanted she didn’t want to lose not now she had come so far and they were right in front of each other and they both knew what one another truly wanted. stella honestly didn’t care about the rest she just wanted this to be over and to hold and have lisa. ”will you be mind and can i be yours?” she asked wanting the raw answer now and she hoped that it was yes..

the kiss was great it had been so long sense she actually longed to kiss someone, but now that she finally accomplished the kiss she wanted for some time she didn’t want the air that took a while to get back to her lungs after they pulled away. sorry...sorry...she hoped it wasn’t any more bad news because right now with that kiss she didn’t have a damn reason to be sorry. ”its okay i’m breathing again.” she said thinking that was why she said it and then she blushed having admitted lisa took her breathe away. she looked to where she was looking the blood on her hands and her eyes just stayed planted now and she gulped. ”wh-why?” she whispered.

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words; six oh three
muse; someone like you adele
outfit; lover dearest
credits; zie @ CAUTION!
lyrics by Marianas Trench!

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[larissa katherine alvey]

why couldn't she get it? the blonde adopted alvey didn't know what to do or how to get her to understand. was it that complicated? her sister killed everyone she loved. she was back, she tried to burn down her house and now lisa knew she'd be after stella too. she was just protecting those she loved. alice, sammie and jinxx, stella and raylyn. how was no one getting it!? it hurt her just as much as it hurt them but they would move on. they didn't know her for long. two years or less in stella's case and the would get over the young woman. she was expendable in her own opinions and they all deserved so much better.

the blonde really couldn't say much about crying because she was sobbing too. no, it was kind of nice to see, and show, raw emotion to another person. usually lisa only cried to herself and alone but here was stella and she wasn't even running away. she was telling her things that should frighten her but she was still here, still declaring how she felt and it was kind of a miracle and a nice one at that. if anything it was making larissa love her that much more because she didn't seem scared about crying and lisa felt weird crying in front of stella and she wanted to wrap her arms around her and hold her close and make her feel happy and see a smile but she couldn't. no she was determined right now to not do that!

larissa stared into the girls eyes and bit her lip as she spoke and wanted to give in but it was so hard. there was the years of wanting to save everyone around you that lisa didn't no what to do anymore.the urge to push was so strong but there was a growing ache in her heart she couldn't ignore anymore. "but what if you die? i can't lose you," she said softly and wrapped her arms around herself but she didn't want to say no to stella's next words. no, they made her heart skip beats and she just nodded. "i like that idea," she said softly, biting her lips and looking down.

it had been forever since lisa kissed someone like that, sense sasha died...she never thought she'd feel this way again. or let herself feel this way. however the feeling of course didn't last when stella finally took in all the blood and she didn't know what to do. how did one tell this to someone? the only person who knew was her dad and she promised jinxx that she would stop. for alice's sake. but here she was, bleeding or well she was bleeding. "i.." she said softly, not sure what to say to stella. pulling he rlegs up and letting the tears fall. not because of a lost lover but because she didn't know how to say this, how to respond to this and she was shaking now. in fear and confusion. "its the way..i.." she took in a deep breath and let it out before biting her lip and running her hand through her hair.

"it the way i..cope? and..um..i'm sorry," she whispered. that was the best she could come up with and it was the worst way to explain. "when...whenn everyone began to die. when she killed sasha...my um..girlfriend..i didn't know what to do.." she wiped the tears and bit her lip, "its why i pushed you away..i did't want you hurt like sasha was..i couldn't lose someone i..i like a lot." she wanted to say love, but they only really just met this year and that was too early for love? she didn't need to scare stella away, even if she was the one who came and stood outside her door until lisa finally womaned up and said things.

tagged: janet with stella
words: six hundred and sixty-one
outfit: baggy pants and a tanktop

[stella marie brexton-sans]

the only reason stella was not hearing what larissa was trying to scream to her was one of two things she didn’t want to hear what she was saying, because she just didn’t care, merely because she wanted to be with her. the second reasoning behind not hearing it was well because she couldn’t in all her heartbreak it was just not clicking. the girl wouldn’t want protection though if it meant to be happy and be with larissa then she was going to be happy and be with larissa...surely it would pain the other blonde if she passed on but it would pain stella more not being able to know what the love truly felt like.

they were both i so many tears, but alls they really needed to do was stop and wake up and end it all, because there was no reason for them to be crying. hapiness resided with in them as long as both girls conquered it all and allowed the other to be happy. they were the key...to one another. stella should be scared, but she was standing there the true fear lying in her heart...even though it felt like it had been ripped out upon confession and larissa saying no. she wished that she wasn’t so stuck on the no and she could stop sobbing for a moment just to whisper a please or something...yeah stella wanted to beg at this point in time. was she unlovable? was she unlikable? surely, this was a bit dramatic, but she didn’t care...alls she wanted was to be wanted back. for her to give in....for her to want her.

stella was looking back into her eyes trying to defeat or read into more of the feeling of larissa really the one that wasn’t protecting her. the raw emotions surely something had to seep through, but nothing did and that scared her even more. would she turn away and go back in her room and shut the door behind her ending it all? then the question came out and stella shook her head. ”i can’t lose you either...” she said being that they were in the present now surely larissa would understand this reply. ”i’m not going anywhere im not going to die please” surely everyone died, but stella kept herself healthy for the most part and didn’t have any immediate plans. then she said she liked the idea and smile spread across her face...larissa said she liked the idea of being hers...and well stella being hers..it was just a great feeling and her lips pressed into hers...she needed that more then anything right now.

the blood stains upon their hands were unexplained, but she was still radiating joy even if she was sad that she did hurt herself. it was the way she what? she wanted to whisper, but she didn’t press, stella just listened and then soon she explained it to be the way she coped. why was she coping in pain? stella wasn’t trying to cause her pain she was just trying to be with her, so the initial reaction of those words made stella’s stomach drop. she was speechless for the moment being until her hand reached out to her face and stroked her cheek. ”you don’t have to cope that way you can talk to me...” she said throwing out out there. ”and if you don’t want to talk to me there are so many that miss and care about you...” she didn’t want to change her, but she didn’t want her hurting herself either.

the girl said she liked her a lot and stella couldn’t help but smile again. ”nothings hurting within me anymore you’re hear and i like you a lot too” she said just putting that out there and kissing her again with a passion. yeah, stella wasn’t going anywhere now unless it was with larissa and finally the two seemed to be one?

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___________________________________________________[/color]

words; six fifty five
muse; someone like you adele
outfit; lover dearest
credits; zie @ CAUTION!
lyrics by Marianas Trench!

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