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Post by vendetta raelynn williams on Nov 22, 2011 2:27:46 GMT -5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I'M A LIGHTWEIGHT EASY TO FALL EASY TO BREAK. WITHevery move my whole world shakes. keep me from- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - If
[/color] you were told that you had five years to live, what would you do? would you drop out of school and travel the world? would you make a bucket list and try to fulfill it? or do you act like everything's normal and pretend you'll still be alive five years from now? vendetta had no idea what to do. she had made the doctor promise that he wouldn't tell anyone as long as she promised she'd tell her family. but how do you tell your family that you have cancer? she couldn't do that to them. her dad had just remarried last year and everything was just starting to be perfect after a nasty divorce. she couldn't just break that happiness. she didn't have the heart to tell her dad that his baby girl only had five years to live. she had debated telling her step-brother, but he was stressing over school as well, and her and her step-sister weren't exactly on good terms. then there was caleb and annie. she trusted them with her life, but the thing was, detta was afraid that if she told them, they wouldn't want to be friends with a girl that would need extensive care. she was scared that they'd stop being friends with her. like somehow cancer was contagious. She couldn't bear to lose either of them. the doctors had told her she had chronic myelogenous leukemia. whatever that meant. he had explained a bit to her, but she hadn't understood much of what he had said. of course, she had went home and googled it afterwards. the good news was, it was curable with the right amount of treatment and early detection. the bad news was, anyone who had this cancer that was younger than middle-aged has a more aggressive form of it. the doctor had already told her she was showing a handful symptoms of cml, however, the progress of the cancer didn't fit the accelerated phase yet, so he'd monitor it for now. still, the medication he had given her were not helping. she was still feeling tired all the time. she couldn't finish a routine without panting like she had run a marathon; she gets hungry but when the food's actually presented in front of her, she suddenly loses her appetite; and her left side was constantly in pain. she had been binging on tylenol and advil like no tomorrow these days. they seem to help, but not by much. usually the pain passes by after a while, but sometimes it's excruciating to a point that all she could do is curl up and scream silently in pain. Vendetta sighed as she sat down on the small swing set in the park she was passing by. she pushed herself backwards before swinging her legs. higher and higher. sometimes she wondered if it was possible to swing over the bar at the top, but then she would get too high and stop trying. she closed her eyes, feeling the wind against her face, a small sad smile lingering on her face. maybe she'll stick with the last option. pretend like she didn't have cancer. pretend she has a life time ahead of her instead of five years. she had to stay strong and pretend like absolutely nothing was wrong. maybe if she smiled and laughed more, it'll help extend her life expectancy. she had to believe that she would be cured. she had to believe that everything was okay. because if she started to dwell on the fact that she has cancer, even for just a split second, she was sure she would break down and not be able to stop. she couldn't show that kind of weakness. she was vendetta. she was that girl who was always happy. she was not about to change that about herself. she was still vendetta. perhaps a weaker, skinnier version, but she was still the same person. cancer or not. and she was determined to stay optimistic. she had to because if no one knew, she was the only person who could keep herself positive. [/size][/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - FALLING APART. MAKE A PROMISE PLEASE YOU'LL ALWAYS be in reach just in case i need you there when i call - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - tagged; open notes; i just wanted a detta post =P lyrics; lightweight by demi lovato word count; six eight four outfit; click credit; to brooke from caution
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Post by caleb hunter mcmillian on Nov 22, 2011 17:04:09 GMT -5
caleb hunter mcmillian was madly in love with two things. one music and another was a person. of course he never thought in god's name he'd be in love with anyone, or anything other than music. it was his life, he threw all his time and energy into writing beautiful lyrics and melodies. he enjoyed doing these things so much that it was all he ever did, other than go to class and spend time with his other love. vendetta raelynn williams. his best friend, hell his only friend really. yup it was a bit cliche. fall in love with your best friend but never say a thing cause you are afraid to be rejected. actually his fear of rejection was why he never cared much for relationships. music didn't reject you, if anything it was amazing and a beautiful thing he created.
detta though. she was nice, but a person. he couldn't think of losing her or their friendship over some silly one-sided love. it was ridiculous and if she didn't feel the same way about him, then his heart would be broken. he couldn't handle that. a broken heart. of course broken hearts usually made the best songs, but he couldn't handle that. handle losing detta. his first real friend. his first best friend. his first actual love. losing that would be worse than any other thing in the world. he could write a break up song easily. heck, he wrote love songs before he was ever in love. though the one's he wrote now were way better, he still felt like it'd ruin everything if she knew. his most recent song was finally done. written, gone over and recorded using all his equipment. he was happy with the final thing but he wanted to show detta before showing anyone else.
he had his cousin sing the chorus for him, because he didn't know any other girl to sing it. he was pretty sure detta wouldn't want to sing, and well he didn't know many people. of course the song was much about detta, and vanessa had asked who the song was towards. of course caleb said no one, it was just a song he wrote, like all his other songs. she believed him, or so it seemed. who knew, he really didn't care. though he had locked himself in his room for weeks and weeks and needed to get out. the only time he left the four walls of his room was to see detta, and that wasn't enough. now he just needed out of here and out of the school. which was how he ended up walking through a park, with his ipod on and headphones in his ears.
he was listening to his song, which he decided to name falling. he was trying to still make sure everything was just right. it seemed caleb could be a bit of a perfectionsist when it came to music. his passion and his life. it was on repeat and he was singing along. finally he decided it was just fine and changed the song. it was starting to give him a headache. he never got tired of a song, but sometimes one just needed a break. he shut the ipod off, wrapped it up and shoved it in his pocket. when he walked by the swings he noticed a familiar blonde and smiled, "hey detta. didnt' expect to see you here." he moved to sit on the swing next to her but didn't kick off, he just sat and stared at the ground. even with his music off he couldn't stop replaying it in his head. over and over. it was almost like an addiction. but not quite.
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Post by vendetta raelynn williams on Nov 22, 2011 21:27:37 GMT -5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I'M A LIGHTWEIGHT EASY TO FALL EASY TO BREAK. WITHevery move my whole world shakes. keep me from- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Maybe
[/color] if she lied to herself enough times, she would finally start to believe her own lies. maybe she didn't have cancer and the doctor was just lying to her. she was sixteen years old. she couldn't have cancer. it wasn't possible. she was healthy. more than healthy. she always made sure she ate healthy, got enough sleep, and exercised daily. she was just as healthy as professional athletes. so how did she even get leukemia? she wasn't sure, and it seems that the doctors didn't know either. but it didn't matter. she refused to have cml. she would continue to lie to herself until she believed it. she had to. she wasn't going to let something so little get in the way of her living her life. she wanted to become a world famous ballerina like her mother, and until she could achieve that, she will not let the cancer get the best of her. she'll show 'em who's boss. But she knew that she wouldn't be able to hide it very long. she was constantly asking for tylenol, and she was barely eating. even she had noticed her own weight loss. it wasn't drastic, and it was barely visible. but for someone who tried to not get too skinny or too chubby, she was able to catch the loss of a few pounds in herself. but at least she wasn't showing as many symptoms as most cml patients who were in the accelerated phase. that was something she wasn't looking forward to. as long as she took the medicine and went to the doctor every week for a check up then she would be okay. she had to have faith in the medication the doctor had given her. she had to believe that the medicine would help cure her leukemia cells. she had to trust her doctor that he knew what was best for her. and if he told her that these medicine would contribute to battling cancer, then hell, she'd take the whole bottle if she had to. Vendetta just hoped that neither caleb or annie would notice. she knew she'd eventually have to say goodbye, but not yet. not now. for now, she still wanted them around while she's still considered pretty healthy. saying goodbye to caleb would be the hardest for her. it broke her heart knowing she would never be able to express her feelings for him. he wouldn't want someone like her. this was not a walk to remember. he wasn't landon and she wasn't jamie. she wouldn't get her happily ever after. plus, he wouldn't like her like that. she was his best friend. in his eyes, she was just that, she was sure of it. how could he possibly fall for someone like her? he couldn't fall for a girl like her. a girl that was dying. it would only be a burden, not a relationship. detta couldn't do that to caleb. she would keep her feelings for him in her heart and take it to her grave. he would never know. could never know. And it simply broke her to know that he would never know. she hated knowing that she would never be his. he was always on her mind; he was the first person she thought of when she woke up and he was last person she dreamt of when she went to bed. she wished she could talk to annie about her feelings for caleb, but she couldn't. it wasn't that she didn't trust annie, but detta was sure that annie would tell caleb that she liked him after she died. and if, for some reason, caleb happened to like her back, she didn't want him feeling remorse or regret. she could never let anyone know that she was in love with her best friend. she jolted out of her thoughts when caleb's voice rang out in her ears. for a second she had thought she imagined it, but there he was, sitting on the swing next to her. she placed on her brightest grin, "caleb!" she exclaimed cheerfully, her green eyes with hazel flecks fixated on him. she giggled, "yeah, i was going to go find something to eat, but i wasn't feeling too hungry, so i went for a walk instead!" she told him with a smile. [/size][/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - FALLING APART. MAKE A PROMISE PLEASE YOU'LL ALWAYS be in reach just in case i need you there when i call - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - tagged; open notes; <3 lyrics; lightweight by demi lovato word count; seven two two outfit; click credit; to brooke from caution
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Post by caleb hunter mcmillian on Nov 23, 2011 10:58:18 GMT -5
only if caleb knew what was wrong with detta, he'd tell her how he feels. not just to say it, but because he wouldn't care anymore. if he was rejected, so what. he would have nothing to lose, because he was already, unknowingly, losing her. he would finally tell her how much he really cared for her. but he didn't know, so he wasn't going to. because he had a lot of time to get courage to let it out. right? no. he didn't have enough time to tell her, but technically the song would tell her. it was about her, not that he'd ever admit to that. no it was about an imaginary girl who didn't exist. that's what he'd tell people. because he didn't love anyone. no one but his best friend and that no one knew of. so no one would guess the meaning of the beautiful song he wrote for her.
you would think that all the time caleb spent looking at vendetta, just looking, that he'd be able to see. but he didn't. he didn't notice the tiny bit of weight loss. the constant tylenol thing freaked him out a bit. he didn't know what was up with that and when he asked she said it was nothing and that she was just in pain. he wanted to make the pain go away, make it stop for her. he didn't know how bad it was, or that it was cancer but already he wished he could make whatever it was go away. he also noticed her decline in apatite, and that also scared him just a tiny bit. but it'd be okay? she'd be okay. vendetta was healthy. his healthy detta. or so he thought. he would never think of her having cancer, because she was just so healthy.
though if the boy knew, he'd make his time with detta special. he'd do things you would never think caleb was capable of doing. taking her out, with flowers and limos. okay maybe not a limo but romantic things. candle lit dinners. midnight strolls on the beach. things that couples did. that people in love did. he'd admit to being in love and shower her with it. he would hold her and never want to let go, afraid to lose her. it'd all be different between the caleb he was now. the slightly distant, always in his room. not because he liked to be alone but to finish up his projects. he'd stop those, he'd stop being so perfect and spend more time with her. only if he knew.
he smiled right back when she said his name, her voice always made him smile. even when he was at rock bottom, she could make him smile. though when she said she was going to eat but wasn't hungry, he frowned a bit. he didn't like her not eating, especially when she was so nuts about eating right and healthy. "detta. you okay?" he was just curious, because he didn't want to see her upset or hurt. people didn't eat for many reasons, but detta wasn't one of those people. he knew that, so it had to be more. maybe stress or something. who knew. "i finally finished my song. i think or hope."
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Post by vendetta raelynn williams on Nov 23, 2011 14:57:52 GMT -5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I'M A LIGHTWEIGHT EASY TO FALL EASY TO BREAK. WITHevery move my whole world shakes. keep me from- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - If
[/color] she couldn't even tell her best friends about this, she couldn't tell anyone else. no one could find out she was dying. if word got out to the gossip chick in this school then life for her wouldn't ever be the same again. she could already what they'd say about her. they'd call her an attention seeker. they'd hate her. and she, as a girl who was friends with everyone, didn't handle being hated well. she was still in her chronic stage of leukemia, so the survival rate was a little higher than the other stages. if, by some miracle, the medications worked and the other treatments were successful and was able to reduce her leukemia cells, and word had gone out beforehand that she had cancer only to be a survivor of it, people would really think she was an attention whore then. And wasn't going to let anyone call her something that she wasn't. if she was going to die and be known for one thing, she wanted to be known as a great dancer. she wanted to be known for her ballet skills- just like her biological mother. if only her mom had stuck around long enough to realize her baby girl was trying to follow in her footsteps. despite the awful divorce, vendetta still loved her. that woman had given birth to her. despite the fact that her father had made her sound like an awful woman, her mom still meant a lot of her. sure, she might care about her career more than her own family, but it's because of her determination and focus that got her to where she was, and detta didn't blame her at all. she just wished she had her mom around to help her deal with this. if there was one person she had to tell in the world, it would be her own mother. not her step mom, not her dad, not her step brother, not annie and not caleb, but her own mother. Except her mother wasn't around, so she'd just have to keep it a secret until she's forced to tell someone. but for now, while her symptoms were still barely noticeable, she's still able to lie about being sick. no one had to know. all she knew was that she wanted to spend her time wisely. if she could, she'd be awake twenty four hours a day, seven day s a week, except she was often tired and needed all the sleep she could get. she hesitated a little when caleb asked if she was okay. did he know? no, he couldn't know. there was no way he would have found out. she was hiding it pretty well, plus, no one else knew. she shook her head a little, giggling a little with a bright smile on her face, "of course! why wouldn't i be?" she asked, glancing away from him, hoping he hadn't caught onto her lie. her eyes widened with excitement, "you did?! do you have it with you? can i listen to it?" [/size][/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - FALLING APART. MAKE A PROMISE PLEASE YOU'LL ALWAYS be in reach just in case i need you there when i call - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - tagged; open notes; it's blah, sorry =/ lyrics; lightweight by demi lovato word count; five one one outfit; click credit; to brooke from caution
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Post by caleb hunter mcmillian on Nov 26, 2011 18:56:07 GMT -5
caleb was being pretty stupid, it was so obvious(at least to other people) that he was madly in love with detta. who wouldn't be? she was beautiful, funny, nice, sweet, but yet she didn't let people really walk all over her. he loved that about her, and sometimes he wished he could get over himself and tell her. he dreamed about it really. sometimes it went good other times. it ended with a broken heart and him waking up in sweat. yeah it was odd, but his fear of rejection. well it wasn't like normal people's fear. yeah everyone didn't like to be rejected, but the moment caleb thought about it, it was like the world was about to end. yeah it was an irrational fear of rejection that kept him from being with the one he loved.
the boy would tell detta anything but that. if he was having family issues, detta would be the first to know. if he was sick, detta was usually the first to know. cause she'd ask for him to hangout and he'd apologize for being sick. he really wanted to spend all his time with detta, because he did love her. or was at least falling madly in love with her. either way he tried his hardest not to get sick and music never stops him from spending time with vendetta. he even spent time with her when he was sick because what was a better cure then just being with your best friend? nothing.
he hadn't exactly caught on to the fact that she was lying, but he was just worried about her. the fact that she really hadn't been hungry often, or at least when he was talking to her. he just thought it was odd in a way or not healthy. but detta to him was the epitome of health, so he wouldn't think to much about it and he just smiled at her. "alright if you say so detta," he said, pushing off of the ground and beginning to swing. why? because if he was on a swing, he might as well swing. he liked it, but if he swung too high for too long, he'd get a very bad headache. when she asked if she could listen to it, he stopped his swing and pulled out his ipod. "of course i have it on me." scrolling to the song and playing it, taking the headphones out so it'll be out loud. he honestly hoped she didn't realize it was about her, cause really. who else would it be about? he didn't hangout or talk to anyone other than detta, unless on chat. and that didn't count as a friendship, at least not to him. when the song ended he shut off the ipod and looked over at her, "so what do you think?"
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Post by vendetta raelynn williams on Nov 26, 2011 23:05:48 GMT -5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I'M A LIGHTWEIGHT EASY TO FALL EASY TO BREAK. WITHevery move my whole world shakes. keep me from- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Five years was a long time from now to a lot of people. five years was a person's entire high school experience. for most people, five years was forever from now. it was too far out in the future to really cross anyone's mind. but for any cancer patient, five years was their life time. literally. that's all they get to live. five years. they only get to have five more birthdays, five more thanksgiving holidays, five more christmas', and sometimes even less than that. some won't graduate out of high school, some won't get to go to college, get married, start a business, or make a family. that was detta's life. there was only so many holidays left in her life. in five years, she would only be twenty one. she wouldn't even be able to graduate from college. and out of those five years, three of them would be spent doing treatments like stem-cell transplant or chemotherapy. three of those years, detta would only get weaker and weaker. the pain would get worst, she'd lose more weight, and she'd be the epitome of death.
So really, vendetta only had two years to truly live life. there was so much she wanted to do. so many things she wanted to see, to experience. time was her enemy, and there was no way around it. she could drop out of school and travel the world. or she could make a bucket list of all the things she wanted to do and do them. but it seemed so permanent. like she's accepting that she's dying. she didn't want to believe she was dying. she wasn't. she couldn't. she was only sixteen years old. sixteen year olds who eat healthy, exercise daily, and tried to put a positive outlook on life don't get cancer. it wasn't fair. why do jerks like james who rape people get to live a long life while people like her get cancer? it just doesn't make sense. it wasn't fair. but no matter how unfair it was, she knew she would have to accept it. it was her fate. whether or not it was fair, she was still dying. and nothing was going to change it. there was no denying it, and soon, in a matter of time, everybody would know.
She knew she had to break the news to her friends and family before the gossip blog got to it. before the whole world found out. but who could she tell? who did she want to tell? virtually no one until she had to, but by then, maybe it would be too late. she wanted so badly to tell caleb, but she couldn't. he'd push her away. she was dying. why would he want to be friends with someone who's going to be dead anyways? no one wants to be friends with a dying girl. not even if they're your best friend. she could tell her dad or her mom or maybe even her step mom. but the thing was..... her dad wanted her to be the perfect little ballerina like her mom. if he knew that, in a few short years, detta would have to quit ballet all together, it'd break his heart. she couldn't do that to him. to break his dream. to break their dream. if she told her step mom, then her dad was bound to find out. she could tell annie, but she would push her away too.
She'll tell someone. eventually. just.... not now. not when she still looked rather healthy and while the pain was still at a minimum. she'll tell them when she hits the accelerated phase. because if she hits that phase, then there was truly not much she could do but wait for death. she glanced at caleb, biting down on her tongue. it would be so easy. all she had to do was say the words. maybe he wouldn't push her away. no. of course he would. she grinned, "i say so! i am a-okay." she assured him, her voice chiming with laughter and certainty despite the fact that she was lying. vendetta let out a giggle, "of course you have it with you, why did i even ask?" she teased, sticking her tongue out at him. she stopped her swinging, leaning against the chain as she listened quietly. she grinned brightly when the song was over. "that.... was..... wow, cale. it's such a beautiful song!"
[/b][ she said, almost at a loss for words. [/size][/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - FALLING APART. MAKE A PROMISE PLEASE YOU'LL ALWAYS be in reach just in case i need you there when i call - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - tagged; open notes; ----- lyrics; lightweight by demi lovato word count; seven four nine outfit; click credit; to brooke from caution
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Post by caleb hunter mcmillian on Nov 30, 2011 12:10:50 GMT -5
some people never even thought five years into their future and caleb was one of those. he was only seventeen, five years from now he'd just be turning twenty-two and he was hoping working on becoming a famous song-writer and maybe even a famous singer. he just wanted to follow his dreams. that and of course he thought about finally getting over his fear and asking detta on a proper date. maybe he needed to hit up that mtv show, friendzone. it worked for some people but he doubted it would work for him because it would mean detta had to like him and say yes to going on a date and he didn't see that happening in a million years.
if caleb knew detta only had five years. well he'd put things into prospective because he didn't realize how little time he had and he wouldn't until she told him. you never knew what you had until it was gone and all that stuff it fit so perfectly in the lives of these two. they wouldn't see it until it was almost too late to see anything because both of them didn't see that the other liked them. both just figured it was best friends being best friends. though it seemed so many other people saw it because it was so easy to see. you just had to be looking but caleb knew there was nothing there. the fact that people said things just made him upset though he let it slide and would ignore them if it got too much to handle. it kind of upset him because he didn't need his hopes being up. because then he might believe something could happen and finally man up and tell deta. but then he knew, deep down he knew that she'd just turn him down and they wouldn't be best friends anymore. he much rather live his life in love with someone untouchable then lose her for good.
caleb nodded when she said that she was okay, "good." he had no reason to not believe her, because why would she lie about being okay? plus she was detta and he just couldn't see her not being okay or anything. when she giggled he smiled tempted to tell her how cute her giggle was but then he pushed it back. just like he had to do many of his thoughts. "i was thinking the same thing," he said with a laugh and just watched her as she listened. he was hoping, she didn't realize it was about her. and if she did, well he hoped she wouldn't hate him. it made no sense, but wouldn't it be awkward? knowing your best friend was falling in love with you yet you didn't love him back? yeah it'd be a bit awkward. he couldn't keep from blushing when she said it was a beautiful song, "you think? i don't know i feel like somethings messing." if anything was missing it would have to be that vendetta didn't know it was about her and he desperately wished that she figured it out.
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Post by vendetta raelynn williams on Dec 2, 2011 0:30:05 GMT -5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I'M A LIGHTWEIGHT EASY TO FALL EASY TO BREAK. WITHevery move my whole world shakes. keep me from- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Friends
[/color] and family meant the world to her. if things weren't so complicated, she would tell them anything and everything without hesitation, doubt, or even regret. but it was more complicated than it was. if she told caleb first, her family and annie would be angry with her for breaking the news to him first; if she broke the news to annie first, the same thing could happen; and if she broke the news to her family first, she didn't know how annie or caleb would take it. there was just no winning with these people. at least if she were to tell her family first, they can't exactly hate her or stop talking to her. they were family, they had to acknowledge her existence. except for that new evil step sister of her's. still, she was so afraid of what everyone's reaction would be. in fact, she wasn't even sure how she wanted them to react to the news. in way, she did, sort of. she wanted them to treat her like normal. don't look at her like she was dying, like she was short on time. treat her like she was healthy, like she had never shared the news in the first place. She didn't want to see the sadness in their eyes. she didn't want to see the pity they felt for her. she didn't want to hear "poor detta. she's only sixteen." she didn't want them acting as if she was useless. as if the cancer affected her ability to do things on her own. she didn't want to hear goodbye lingering on their lips. but she couldn't control that. no, she could only share the news and hope that her family and friends wouldn't treat her any differently. so the question was, who was she going to tell first? she didn't know. she loved her family to pieces, but she also loved annie and caleb. then there was anthony, who always had to know the news first. he wouldn't be too happy if she made him wait with the rest of the family. maybe she just won't tell anyone. at all. they would eventually figure it out anyways. they would have no choice but to notice the symptoms taking a toll on her. yeah, she'll wait it out. wait for the symptoms to show. wait until they start asking her questions. maybe then she'll tell them. and instead of telling them separately, she'll tell them all together. yeah. she'll sit them all at one dinner table one day, and she'll tel them. everything. Detta just hoped that none of them would be too repulsed by her. especially caleb. she didn't know what she'd do if he was repulsed by her. she couldn't bare the thought of losing him. he meant way too much to her, and she was not about to chase him away from her with that kind of news. she grinned brightly when she received a laugh from caleb. "maybe i just wanted to be the silly monkey this time." she joked with a small chuckle, shrugging a little. she frowned, "missing? what could be missing? the song is absolutely perfect!"[/b] she exclaimed, wide-eyed. everything about that song was amazing, and it was clearly about a girl. a part of her was hoping it was about her, but she knew it wasn't. it couldn't be. he only saw her as a best friend, and nothing more. he couldn't possibly think of her as more than that. could he? no. she was just detta. no one special. they couldn't possibly be more than just best friends- no matter how much it hurts her heart to realize that his songs are about some amazing girl that wasn't her. [/size][/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - FALLING APART. MAKE A PROMISE PLEASE YOU'LL ALWAYS be in reach just in case i need you there when i call - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - tagged; open notes; blah. short =/ lyrics; lightweight by demi lovato word count; six two three outfit; click credit; to brooke from caution
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Post by caleb hunter mcmillian on Dec 11, 2011 10:38:53 GMT -5
caleb could never get mad at her for telling her family anything before telling him. if it was something this important, he would tell him mother before telling her but tell her not far after. along with telling her how he really felt for her. isn't that what people did in these situations? always talk to their family first? to get some very needed support before telling the people who don't really have to be there. the people who could leave you stranded with nothing more than a bye? yeah that's how he felt, that he'd tell his mother something like this before telling detta. even if he knew detta wouldn't leave her. the boy would however tell detta she'd be the first to know if there was a girl. but he had lied, not on purpose but he would tell his mother. ask for advice on how to tell detta his feelings before going to detta and letting it all out.
the boy would only be sad because he was losing the girl he cared for and only had so little time to spend with her. though he would spend it making her happy and spending all his time wit her. he would write her as many songs as she could handle and just hold her close and love her for as long as he had to love her. yeah it seems mushy but what would you do if the girl you loved was dying? if you only had very few moments to be with her, wouldn't you spend every waking and even sleeping moment wit her? well caleb would because he had been afraid to tell her how he felt and now it would be almost too late. so he would make it his mission to make the most of the little time he'll have.
oh how could caleb be repulsed by someone he found so beautiful? it isn't even possible. no matter how sickly detta got, caleb would be there to hold her. he loved her. yeah he wouldn't admit it to her but he knew deep down this was more than just one of the greatest friendships of all time. at least it was for him. for her? he wasn't sure. when she said she wanted to be the silly monkey he laughed again. "well detta. mission accomplished," he said with a smile and another laugh. he laughed so often with detta because he felt like he could be himself and she'd still be his friend because they were just that close. "i don't know but i just feel like somethings not quite right." there was something missing but it wasn't in the song. it was in him. he didn't like her not knowing but it was hard to get over himself. he wasn't sure she liked him the way he liked her and losing a friend. well he would rather be her friend then nothing at all. the song was about a girl and it was the beautiful blonde on the swing next to him. there just wasn't any other girl in his life other than his mother and his new friend eve. but he didn't know her well enough for this to be about her. so if anyone looked close enough they'd know it was about detta and no one else.
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Post by vendetta raelynn williams on Dec 16, 2011 2:24:31 GMT -5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -I'M A LIGHTWEIGHT EASY TO FALL EASY TO BREAK. WITHevery move my whole world shakes. keep me from- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - If
[/color] there was one thing detta was good at, and it wasn't dancing, it would be being so upbeat and optimistic all the time. she was never angry, and would never ever cry. she liked being happy though. she liked smiling and laughing and giggling because for some reason, it made people happy too. perhaps they were feeding off her energy, but for whatever reason, her optimism often brought a smile to someone else's face, and that's all she ever wanted. she liked having people around her happy. and if, by some miracle, it was her doing, it was a bonus. she hated seeing people upset or angry. to her, all the drama around this school was so unnecessary. she just wished everyone would get along. the things they fought over, their disagreements.... they were so childish and so very very stupid. she was not trying to be mean, but as a girl who was dying, sometimes your perspective in life changes a little. people just need to accept others for who they were, where they came from and who their parents are. there really was no point in arguing about things like that. she didn't see the reason for the gossip blog to be up, and she couldn't even begin to comprehend why people actually believe them. it made her angry to know that people didn't understand that there was so much more to life than their pointless arguments and disagreements. But she was just detta. she was just one person. and a very passive and harmless person at that. she couldn't possibly stand up to all those mean people and just tell them to put a sock in it. not like they would listen to her anyways even if she did gather the nerve to tell them that. she was outnumbered, and unimportant. what those people do, she couldn't possibly begin to undo. sometimes she thought maybe it would be best if she just dropped out of high school, live the rest of her life trying new things, experience different cultures, do everything she ever wanted to do before she had to be imprisoned in the hospital. but she would miss so many people. she would never have the heart to leave them behind. if she were to choose between her family and friends and living out the life she wanted, there was no doubt that vendetta would choose her friends and family. they came first. always did and always will. they were more important than living out the things she wanted to do. they were more important than her dream to be a ballerina because if it weren't for them, she wouldn't be the person that she was now. they were her rock and soul and she owed them everything. so despite her urge to just run away, she knew she would never be able to leave these people behind. no matter how much everybody else bothered her. She knew they would keep her sane enough to not go crazy and shoot down every mean person in the school for constantly putting others down to make themselves feel better. she grinned when he laughed again, loving the way it sounded. it felt so warm, so genuine compared to her own. sometimes her own laugh sounded so forced. it always sounded so sad to her, like her heart was preventing her from truly being happy. "yay!!! i like accomplishing missions!"[/b] she exclaimed with a giggle, clapping a little as if she was cheering for herself. of course, being around caleb always made it easier to forget she was sick. even though he didn't know it, he always knew the right ways to distract her from dwelling on too long about her condition. she pursed her lips a little, her brows furrowing a little into a frown, shaking her head, her blond hair whipping against her face violently, the tips of her strands tickling her skin. "i think it's perfect! but that's just me, i'm not the musician here though." she said, sticking her tongue out a little. she shrugged, pushing the heels of her foot against the ground to set the swing in motion again. she closed her eyes, feeling the breeze blow by her, "maybe it's missing the girl." she muttered quietly as a suggestion, eyes still closed as she laid her head against the chain of the swing, going higher and higher. [/size][/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - FALLING APART. MAKE A PROMISE PLEASE YOU'LL ALWAYS be in reach just in case i need you there when i call - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - tagged; open notes; >.> detta makes me really depressed XD lyrics; lightweight by demi lovato word count; seven three six outfit; click credit; to brooke from caution
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